drinking glue

in the wonderful words of my brother scott - w00t. and that's exactly the problem. i have to use other people's ideas to convey what i'm trying to say. and when i try to think and speak on my own, i screw up in the worst way possible. like elaina said, i'm just not very good with words. whenever i hear something that is important, i have no clue what to say. so i say what i think, and it's definitely -definitely- not what was needed. in fact i usually screw things up even more than before. will someone please just hit me over the head next time i try to cheer someone up?

to say that it's been a while is an understatement. considering how much i love revealing my thoughts to the whole world, i'm surprised i've been putting it off for so long. i've noticed lately that i'm a very emotional person, and that my attitude depends entirely on who else is arround me. and when i'm alone, i don't feel much at all. just boredom, and a very strange urge to clean (my mom's fault, i'm guessing). right now, i feel a bit embarassed, maybe even ashamed with myself. jessika's coming in two days, which of course i can't wait for. of course, in the meantime, i'm raking in the $$ by cleaning our entire house. but i should be more excited than i am. i'm going to see my best friend, whom i haven't seen in a year! we'll be spending a little over a week w/ eachother, wreaking havoc wherever we go. but i'm more excited at the thought of the kite festival. last year, when i went, it was all about meeting elaina's friends. this summer i couldn't care more or less either way if i spent every day w/ her friends, or saw none of them at all. just as long as i get to go to the beach. i want nothing more than to sit on the sand and watch the waves (i really hope the weather's like last year). i also have this strange urge to build a sandcastle, ever since i "played" volleyball a few days ago. ... i don't know where i'm going with this. i'm actually just sitting here, trying not to gush about my rubber ducky (oops... guess it was all for nothing). anyway, the kitchen's calling me. there's this coffee stain over by the bread that i've been wanting to clean up all morning...